Some industries, like technology companies like to brag about their technology and use big, important-sounding words.
For as old as advertising is, there will always be advertisers who believe that using big words will impress people into purchasing their products. That’s because they are approaching from the persuasion mindset and not the communication mindset.
What they’re forgetting is that people who use their products don’t care about all of the big words. In fact, many of them may not even know what the words mean because they are not “industry people”.
Some copywriters believe that they will write good ads for companies in technology, healthcare, and other industries if they throw jargon and big words around.
This kind of writing can be a problem when a copywriter’s technical background comes out more in writing than his or her understanding about communication and systems thinking.
Transforming jargon into a language that everybody can understand is a good way to eliminate some of the bottlenecks in the advertising message for companies who are in industries that have high amounts of jargon.
I’ll give an example.
“Our product uses innovative, integrative informatics technology that supports automated systems and large language models to integrate smart cloud computing servers in your business networking environment, enabling efficient, and streamlined interfaces that encapsulate collaborative efforts for company stakeholders, healthcare professionals, and patient education.”
Read that, and then read it again. There are actually copywriters and founders who believe that this is good business writing.
Here are some of the flaws about this type of copy:
There’s one audience in mind. Imagine a keynote speech where the speaker pointed at a particular person in the audience that he believed was the most important person to hear the message, and told them to accompany the speaker backstage to hear the speech, leaving the rest of the audience in silence. The result is, the speaker doesn’t get to reach the hundreds of people who showed up to hear the message.
A systems thinker will understand that the audience is beyond simply physicians and administrators. Who is going to use a healthcare informatics system? Doctors, yes. But, we’re forgetting that the patients are also going to use the software to see their labs, history, and other information. Always speak in plain language that both the doctor and the patient will understand.
Everybody likes plain speak. It’s okay to use some jargon, and it should be encouraged, especially if some of the stakeholders speak the jargon. But, even people who know the jargon want to read something in plain language, because it is better communication. There is something about loading copy with jargon that makes a company look like they are not confident enough in what they do to simply say it in plain English.
It sounds like doublespeak. People don’t like doublespeak because it is confusing. Nobody buys a product or service out of confusion. Problem solvers take complicated problems and make the solution, and then show the “problem havers” what the solution is. This should be done in very simple language.
Does your product encourage collaboration? Use the word “teamwork” instead. Also, avoid words like “encourage” or “encapsulate”, and use a word like “improve” instead. What does “encapsulate” mean anyway? Is the software inside a capsule? Is it a pill? Then, don’t use a big word where a simpler one will work better.
It doesn’t sell. This type of writing is features-oriented. It is not oriented toward benefits. Therefore, what is it selling? All of the things that the writers say may be true, but say it in a way that people can understand. This is called “you orientation”. It is a manner of writing an ad, or a piece of content that communicates to a person, and not an arbitrary audience. The reason why this should be done is simple. People are not segments. Segments are abstract ideas that symbolize a group of people who may be potential buyers. Always talk about one person and not a group.
Here’s a rule to go by … if there is a big word, and that big word alone is the absolute best word that describes something very specific that the smaller words do not describe, then you can use it, as long as most of the copy is in plain language. Just try to make it as clear as possible where the way that the word is used helps define itself without the reader needing to use a dictionary, or look it up on a search engine.
If you are looking for a copywriter, feel free to contact me here.
